Wednesday, 10 March 2010

My Thoughts: World of Warcraft The Movie!?

Movies based on games hardly ever work,this should be an obvious fact to everyone. The same could be said for games based on movies, but anyway. The movies hardly ever keep to the plot of the game, insisting on making it artsy or changing things that just end up making it suck. I mean, what do we go to see these movies for? Loyalty to the brand name and to see out favourite video game characters on the big screen and so we can poke our friends knowingly when they reference the game in some way. The other problem is that people tend to make movies based on games with almost no plot like Hitman. But to delve into the infinate suckage, we need to look into our friend Uwe Boll. SIT BACK DOWN!

Let's look at some of the movies he's made shall we?

House of the Dead
Far Cry
Bloodrayne 2 (and an upcoming 3rd one)
Alone in the Dark
Alone in the Dark II (yes there's a fucking sequel)

Any of those any good? Erm...NO! And you want to know why? Alot of reasons, but my point is that they don't stick to the source material in any regard. Take House of the Dead, first of all it was an arcade game so why make a movie about it? What would be the point? There's only so many things you can do with an arcade game before it stops being the game and turns into it's own movie with the same name. So what did he do? Gave it a plot, a shitty one. And in movies like Bloodrayne and Alone in the Dark he disregarded the plot of the games entirely! And I'm STILL pissed that Nightwish leant their music to his shit, maybe they thought it would give it an iota of awesome? But really, there are plenty of video game movies which suck the big one hard simply because they take nothing and give it something shitty or takes something amazing and disregard it entirely. If you make a movie out of something that already exists you must stick to the souce material like glue, take these movies for example:

Silent Hill
Resident Evil (all 4 of them)
Super Mario Brothers
Double Dragon
Tomb Raider
Dead or Alive

Were any of those decent? Well, Tomb Raider stuck to the material I guess but face it the only reason anyone watches them is to stare at tits. The same could be said for movies based on books but I won't get started on them. But by now you're probably wondering what the hell does this have to do with WoW? Well all of this was just to establish that I don't like Game Movies.

Now, don't get me wrong WoW is ok, not my type of game but it's ok. But come on man, what's the plot? Almost all of it revolves around Arthas and his attempts to firmly cement the fact that he is EEEEVILLLL. What movie could you POSSIBLLY make out of that? Well, I suppose a good fantasy film but apparently it will be live action, doesn't that conjur up some funny images to you? Hundreds of extras wielding massive sword that look more dorky than the foam buster swords people make who stand around for about half a minuit waiting for thier attack to charge. Mage extras stood on hill tops throwing out buff spells for no apparent reason other than to look good, paladins healing half way through fights. Rediculously busty women playing Night Elves in skimpy clothing....actualy, keep that in there. My point though is in games those epic weapons and hot characters are awesome but if you try to re create them in real life it all ends up looking stupid, royally so. Now, I may be wrong, the movie may kick ass but think about it, can they really afford for it to go wrong? WoW has one of the biggest fan bases in gameing kind and if they fuck up in any regard they will have millions of angry fan boys smashing down their doors casting protect and fireball at them. But now I' on the subject, I heard they're making a Bioshock movie too and an Assassins Creed movie, those could be ok except for one thing: THE MAIN CHARACTER IN BIOSHOCK DOESN'T TALK. You'd have a silent lead, how nice. As for Assassins Creed...meh that could be awesome if they stick to the material. But bottom line is, if you want a WoW movie watch Tales of the Past or MMovie when they finnaly release part 2.

By Wittyreviewer

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