Fallout New Vegas Review (more Discussion)

Back when Fallout 3 came out I was little more than a small YouTuber posting small reviews on the web, oh how I look on thoughts days with fond memories... and cringe worthy ones when I actually open up and look at one of the videos but still, the point being that Fallout 3 was the Second (of sorts) review I had done! So we've come full circle almost two years after my Fallout 3 review where here looking at its sequel of sorts. What does this have to do with the game, absolutely nothing now let’s take a look at Fallout New Vegas.

You play as a courier, who at the start of the game gets shot in the head. Well that was a quick game, oh wait it's still going. Well seems that now a days you can survive a bullet to the head and are quickly revived by a local doctor and after a quick tutorial where you customise your player, build your stats and pick your perks your thrown out into the big open world where dreams are made or lost in a blind of a eye... wait where the hell is the big lights? The Casino's? VAGUS!? Oh wait I’m in a town not too far from Vegas ok I'll stick around do some quests here then move on to Vegas to continue the main quest. An hour or two later I get going after finishing up a local gang of thugs and helping out a struggling trader I moved on. Actually I would like to add that I hardly ever returned to any off Nevada’s town. I just had no incentive to go back and revisit any of the past areas mainly because there was nothing left for me to see, back in Fallout 3 I always went back to old areas because I always felt that there was still something I missed on my last visit, here I got the feeling that I had seen everything and there was nothing left for me to see. Like they've purposely killed some of the exploration. However I must say that there were a few places that I loved such as Boomer town and Black Mountain however there in the Minority and I can still remember places in Fallout 3 that where cool and full of nick-knacks and places to explore such as the Megaton, Super-Duper Mart and Oasis (which all sound like/are bands).

Anyway as I was saying after finishing off all the quests at Goodsprings (The starting place) I moved out and went onto where the main quest wanted me to go. To a little place called primm. Where I was met with little hospitality, so I got my way through to where I needed to go and finding out that there's trouble in their town as there Sherriff has been killed and there deputy Sherriff has been captured. So you’re sent in to get him back. Anyway long story short I sort out there Sherriff problem and find out where I need to go. Then it hit me... I'M GOING THE WRONG WAY! I don't want to go to the opposite side of the map I want to go to Vegas! Sorry is this game called "Fallout New Vegas" or "Fallout New Nevada"! You know I know a way to fix this, why not send the player to Vegas however you can't enter till you get enough money to enter. Which they do however they do this way to late in the game, once you find out that you need money you find work that sends you all round the Mojave while sniffing out clues about who shot you. This wouldn't only fix the problem of us trekking all round the world map to a place we wanted to go ever since we started the game, but it would also give us incentive to look around some more knowing that the more we find that more we learn about the world, not oh I wonder if this will get us to Vegas quicker. I know you could just walk to Vegas straight away but you’re not accomplishing anything story wise and there's no pat on the back like a quest would do (with experience).

Anyway back to the story, after doing a almost three quarter circle on yourself and almost six hours of gameplay you finally reach Vegas and the first thing you find yourself saying is "ABOUT F****ING TIME!". Then you find out that you need two thousand caps this is what I suggested not only a minute ago however now it's used to extend the gameplay for no reason and now it's very obvious that it is thanks to us not only hours ago traipsing round following a bread crumb trail to every part of the map that's not within 3 miles of Vegas. Anyway so you need a job which you can get in many ways such as working for a group of scientists investigating a vault with strange plant life (a good quest by the way) to working on small tasks concerning a caravan company from buying someone's else’s company to making a employee lose his job (not a very good quest). After I got two thousand caps I entered Vegas. Once you enter "The Strip" you... Hang on.... Where the hell is everyone? HELLO HELLOO. Vegas is lifeless, I'm not kidding once I got there all I found where robots, one stripper and a man in the corner starring at her. This isn't Vegas this is F***ING BHS! Where the hell is the blearing music (not a radio in the corner mildly annoying you), the homeless in suits and the excitement? (I'll get to this in the gameplay)

Huuuu this games story has been a disaster so far, I hope the rest of the game isn't this bad. Anyway I finally meet Mr House... and this is where the game gets interesting. Finally we have something with thought and a meaning behind it that you feel involved in and play a part in. Basically the game should start from here, you find out the Benny (the guy who shot you) has betrayed him by stealing a platinum chip the very thing you find out that got you that big hole in your head. SO he tells you to retrieve the chip in any way you see fit. You find Benny and after a stunned (if you can call it that) reaction asks you to have a chat in his office. You find out that Benny wants to take over Vegas and he wants you to help him, well as he shot me in the head I decided to do the best thing and beat him to death with a Snooker Cue! After that I did what any man (or woman) would do in that sort of situation and steal everything in his pockets, well except his suit (its sooooo tacky). Anyway after exploring his apartment you find "Yes Man" a robot with a personality, which brings me to my biggest gripe about the story and to be honest it's not really a gripe more an missed opportunity. After your first meeting with "Yes Man" you can very easily not meet him again which is kind of sad as he's a great character and could of used him in interesting ways. For example you could have had "Yes Man" take over one of “The Strips” robots and attack you. This wouldn't just keep you on edge when you visit the Strip, but you could of done some clever story twist where every robot taken over by "Yes Man" develops sentience where the turmoil of the robots new feelings will be more than "Mr House" can control, giving a new faction of "Feral Robots". Or (I'm on a roll today) when "Yes Man" takes over one this could symbolise that in everyone however kind or happy they may seem on the outside, inside burrowed away is a emotion of anger and hate that could snap at any moment leaving a mad and insane person (or robot in this case) to kill the one thing that he hates the most (being you the player). However what we have instead is nothing he's just thrown out the story.

Talking of which I haven't mentioned the new faction system. Unlike Fallout 3 you can choose between 5 factions, which change the game for the best as now you feel like you’re doing something in the world as when you hover over a town in your pit-boy it will tell you if your liked or hated and so on this just gives you more involvement in the goings on of the world however as I said once you've been to a town once (outside the Vegas) there's no reason to go back, If there was something like an update system where a town will call for help as they're being attack by a different faction or local gang. This would make you go back to these towns to help them and if you don't you lose fame with them. This would also tie into the story as events are set in place for the inevitable battle at Hover Dam.

Gunplay is still a little...awful really. Well let me explain. It's not the actual guns that are the problem it's more the aiming ridicule (Crosshair), you can't it well for the most part especially with machine guns! In fact the guns I really stuck with where the rifles, why? Because they have a better chance of hitting your target than any other gun. However guns aren’t or feel as powerful as they did in Fallout 3 which isn't a bad thing, I found that Ammo is a harder thing to find, so I found I was swapping guns which is good! However I was always low on ammo swapping guns fleshing out the gameplay until I found a plasma rifle... then I had no problems with ammo (because there’s not meny guns at the start of the game that use plasma shells so I was basically stockpiling them) and that clever way of swapping guns constantly to change the gameplay disappeared. Also as I said the only guns that work with the aiming ridicule are the rifles.

The animations are still awful and an utter disaster. I could stand it in Oblivion and just about in Fallout 3, however now we have games like L.A Noire with its smooth animations (however I think there still in the uncanny valley). Fallout New Vegas just feels and looks stiff and lifeless, as I said in about when I got to Vegas if they had worked on the engine another year or used a new one then they could of made something special and full of life, however it feels rushed and unpolished which really upsets me in a way this game does have preternatural and I know I’ve been tearing this game apart because it's just so... disappointing! One of the biggest things and is more a personal gripe is the ending. Now after completing tasks for the faction you end up battling at Hover Dam. After fighting threw the dam and fighting a Boss that I found nearly imposable to beat, I get greeted with the NCR where you can tell them to go away or let them have the dam or outright murder them! Anyway after that "Mr House" or whoever you teamed up will talk to and BAM it's over. There's nothing else, no travelling round Nevada seeing if your decisions where really for the good of mankind, only a PowerPoint slideshow and credits and NO you can't continue with that character finishing quests. I know Fallout 3 did the PowerPoint thing in the end however you where just a radiated corpse so it fit! Here it's just out of place and in the end made me annoyed and angry. Hopefully the DLC will fix this however I’m not waiting 6 months for DLC I may or may not like I've got other games to play and a Job (three to be more precise). So by the time the DLC is no longer xbox exclusive I've probably already uninstalled it (If I’m not building a level using the GECK tools) and playing Dragon age 2 for 34 hours (that's how long I played the first one) or Deus Ex 3 (oh no I can’t it’s been delayed till 2012!).

In the end I just feel depressed, I remember reading the Developer notes and see things such as a Car and a opening level set before the bombs fell and your battling threw Hover Dam to blow it up, I could go on and on but I think I’m starting to sound like a broken record. If you really really liked fallout 3 then I would reinstall the PC version and get a ton of mods unless you’re really want a different setting I would just about get it. huuuu I know this isn't a review and I wasn't even going to do one till I finished the game and I just felt cheated. The games rushed and I've played it before in Fallout 3. My Normal reviews will continue in a few more weeks. If you want me to do more of these Discussions yeah I will I would look forward to do a Black Ops Discussion. So I leave you with goodbye my next review will be something... different (if it comes in the mail faster than some other games).

Liam Hackett

Merry Christmas from Feral Entertainment

Hi all, Just wishing you all a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Plus as i don't want a 14 word post so  not only am i writing in on this post but so will Witty and JJ (and maybe even Maria). Also for my part I'll be talking about what I'm planning for the next year and my person favorites of this year.

Well if you've been following me on my twitter account (follow me!!) you know I'm going to be doing more Interviews and first impressions. Also I'm planning to branch off from just game reviews, to other products, however his will be miner as I'll still be sticking with Game reviews in general. Now on to my personal favourite games of this year.

As you may expect, Metro 2033 is on this list and no it's not because I've reasonly played it, no it's because of the immersion and story that I rarely see in a game. Now I won't go into detail because I've spoken about it in my review (which you all should of seen) and I'm just going to leave it there. Oh I should say that I've bought to the book for Christmas and I will be reading it... when I get it.

The games I'm looking forward to this year (and there's allot more than my favourite games of the year) are Portal 2! Not only was Portal one of my favourite games ever and when i herd that the the sequel will have bigger and better puzzles I was hooked then i herd about the co-op then... well just say on it's release you won't be able to get me out of the house for a week.

Another game I'm looking forward too is Dragon Age 2.  Not only doing what most successful sequels do is use the last game as a jumping off point to expand the game and improved the game's mechanics. However the one thing I'm most worried about is that it's only been one year in development which could effect the game.

Now I know I'm not very good with these sort of posts, also I'm rushing this because IT'S CHRISTMAS!! Anyway I'll you may here from me before new year but I'm doubting it so I'll say to you Happy Christmas and have a Happy New Year.

Liam Hacket

Well everyone, it's been a wacky old year. And gone by quick huh? The anime season has been kinda dull but hopefully it'll pick up next year. I also hope to churn out a few new game reviews between now and next Christmas so keep an eye out for those! Anyway, between no and New Year I'll be writing off my Top 5 Anime of 2010 anime list, look out for it.

In short, a Merry Christmas to all and to all a Happy Wintertime. Looking forward to next Christmas already.

Wittyreviewer

 Hey guys! For anyone that doesn't know me, I'm JJ, I did a few things on Liam's site every once in a while, and we worked together. This year I'm not sure I can get any reviews out until summer because it's really busy during the school year for me. I will be reviewing some old games during the summer (Call of Duty Black Ops will be old by then), as I usually do, as well as maybe some new ones. I wish everyone out there a Merry Christmas, and a great New Year!! And remember, keep gaming.

 JJ

Metro 2033 Review

So last week I picked up Metro 2033 for...around about £4 (I think). I had heard of the game but I never played it, so I was pretty shocked at what I found when I was playing it. Now before start I have never read the book however I will if I find it in English and not Russian! So before you go on about how the game doesn't stand up against the book (I think that's how you say it, anyway) I haven't read it. So before you think of anything else to complain about (and good god do I know) let’s get into the review.

Story: The game is set in a post-apocalyptic world in a destroyed Moscow where radiation and a yearly winter makes the outside world an almost inhabitable place to live. The survivors of Moscow live underground in the Metro stations living a constant battle against the creatures that live there to each other. You play as Artyom one of the young survivors of the war. The story begins at the end of the game... well sort of it's sort of disorienting as you heard one of the characters talk about events you haven't even played yet...which when you think about it is sort of cool as well.

Anyway it's not the main story that's what I find the best thing in the game in fact it's not really an engaging part of the story. One person takes on a epic quest to find a man who could save your people, I've seen better. It's the atmosphere and symbolism the world portrays it's believable. Let me explain; when walking around everyone is doing something from conversations with one another with believable animation to playing a guitar. Also there are all sorts of human models from Caucasian to blacks to old people to young children. All made in a way that they don't stand out and you don't see two of the same and yes if you look hard you probably will but I didn't. However this does shoot them self's in the foot when some characters I didn't recognise from passed interactions.

Now to the symbolism, this is probably where I over think some things. The story symbolises the battles that we go through against nature for better and for worse, and the battles we bring against the things we don't know/understand this is symbolised through the dark ones which you can see as the almost neutral as they never attack you, you (humans) attack first so there could be something of self defence and sometimes you could say that the dark ones are helping you. Also the towns if you can call them that are full of life concerning the circumstances. The engine is based on the X-Ray engine ( S.T.A.L.K.E.R Shadow of Chernobyl) which as you SHOULD know that the X-Ray can make some truly great atmospheric worlds and the A4 Engine (Metro's Engine) has kept it to the full amount bring a truly believable world (but yet so alien).

Back to the main story. As I said you play as Artyom and your station is under attack by the supernatural beings called the Dark Ones. Your farther the chief (or whatever he's called) has called for help! A friend of your Father's "Hunter", at first he comes across as a little over confident as he thinks the threat is nonexistent however later you see the character change into in a cold serious character, THIS IS HOW YOU MAKE A CHARACTER PEOPLE! You know what this is only the first ten minutes of gameplay and already I've found something I can praise! Plus the set up is perfect, it's all done in a Half-Life 2 style where you can see what you want and exploration of the area's give you little blemishes into the world. Anyway Hunter goes to sort out the problem on his own and tells you that if he doesn't return to go to Polis Station and ask the rangers to help you.

This sends you on your epic quest to find your way through the Metro (thank god there not going through the London Underground or else you'll be really screwed). Anyway you find yourself going through many areas which I'll get to in a minute. Anyway as I said the Story itself isn't that great but it's when mixed with everything else you get a brilliant story which is unmissable, in fact I can say that this is what most games are missing. I realise now that I've written six paragraphs and I haven't even got to gameplay yet (I think the Editor is having a run for her money... I think I'm going to get murdered soon).

Gameplay: OK here we go let’s start off with the gun play. There are two types of ammo, there's the pre-war ammo which is more powerful however it's used to for money and is hard to find... sort of. When I say that I mean that I think the developers wanted it to be rare but they could strike a balance so they just said "screw it" and put one pre-war bullet in most crannies. This sort of asks for exploration however it’s a very cheap way of doing it. The other type of ammo this dirty and not as powerful as the pre-war stuff, however I found myself finding more pre-war stuff than the dirty stuff, so I'm constantly searching for dirty when I'm constantly picking up pre-war stuff. However being a precocious bastard I hardly ever used a single clip of pre-war bullets. This does reward you with getting better weapons quicker and near the end of the game you get the opportunity for better armour but I didn't see the difference between the old armour.

The levels are vast and somehow unique even though you’re only in one place the metro. Well that's a lie you do go to the surface about four or five times. These levels involve little shooting and more platforming and exploration with one exception where your next to a Nazi Checkpoint and have to speed (or fight) your way through. These levels give you a break from all the shooting. The metro levels are filled with shooting and sometimes stealth sections. I think there maybe too many levels on the way to polis, however for people who have played the game I'm not talking about the level called "ghosts". My least favourite level hast to be where your fighting through front lines against the Nazis and the Soviets, where it's forced stealth and if you get spotted (which you will) then the A.I. will be able to pin point your position even if your just showing a toe nail. It's very annoying.

This brings me onto the A.I. which has a split personality. One personality is dim and can't see two feet in front of them and the other is a bright, smart and can see miles in front of them. This becomes a big problem when playing stealthily. Also throwing knifes (yes there's throwing knifes woopty doo) have a tendency of not doing a think! A leg shot shouldn't kill instantly while a head shot just gets deflected. This would of been fine if there was a mechanic where when that happens they get thrown to the floor while they struggle to get up giving you get the chance to get another shot in while they scream and alert everyone else. Anyway I would stay away from stealth.

The monsters are distinctly menacing and a blurring effect on them gives a great evolution of maniac. The monster look almost alien however you can still see an origin to them. However the rag doll physics just ruin this elation with strange death posses (that doesn't make sense but still). Humans can eat lead and not even fall even when there's nothing left but there skeleton and a his cheese sandwich, while you die as easily as scaring the Editor with a bacon butty (which is extremely easy). This may remind you of S.T.A.L.K.E.R which is true however in S.T.A.L.K.E.R you where basically tripping over ammo which made it balanced. However in Metro ammo is hard to find except for the pre-war stuff which is used for money which is not balanced.

All in all despite its big floors Metro is still a fantastic game and a must buy for any PC player. It's just a shame its repetitive gun play and messy A.I. keeps the game from greatness. However if you can see past these problems you'll be in for a treat.

Liam Hackett

Poker Night at the Inventory

When you think of poker, what do you think of? Texans, gamblers, cartoon rabbits? Telltale try to remove the whole Texans and gamblers part of poker (mostly), and replace it with a pinch of insanity by adding four of the...strangest people ever. Now before I start, I would like to add that I am in no way a gambler. Why? Because I've never seen the point of putting money on a game where you have a 25% chance of winning (that's poker not slots, which I'm also not a fan of). Also I'm below the betting age... of sorts, but even so, I do not bet on anything. So what do I think of Poker Night? Well I'm getting there, I'm getting there.

Gameplay: Being that this is a poker game, there is no story of sorts. You're at the inventory, a place where video game characters come together and play games in secret. These characters include; Strong Bad, Max the Rabbit, Tycho and the Heavy from Team Fortress 2. All these characters come together to play games of poker. There are some characters in the background, like Sam the Dog. There's also a big cameo from Reginald Van Winslow (the captain from Tales of Monkey Island), which hints towards another series of Tales, from what he's wearing and what he says (which I sort of look forward to). Talking of characters, there is one character I would of loved to see in a game like this, which is Guybrush! I know he's not the maddest character, but with his witty lines he would of made a great character to include. I would of preferred him over Tycho, but no. This just proves how much Lucas Arts have changed over the years... *sigh* I miss the days where Lucas Arts was a company who made original games and didn't puke out a Star Wars game every year... hmmm. Oh sort of got distracted, where was I again? Oh yeah gameplay.

Well as you expect, everything from the real game of poker is in the game. You all start off with £10,000 each, and you must get everyone's money to win. A simple game really. However, sometimes characters will put down special items, like Sam will put down his gun and badge, and when you get them out, you get their item to use in Team Fortress 2, and if you don't have TF2? Well tough. And why the hell don't you own TF2?! Anyway, the items don't really give you any bonus, they're just re-skins of old items. There are other unlocks, such as different sets of cards and tables...not much excitement there but still. There are some nice nods to other Telltale games, which is nice I suppose.

The writing is top notch here, from the lines that the characters say when making their moves, to them talking to one another about random stuff. This is probably one of the main reasons to buy the game. However, there is one problem with this. When you knock someone out the game, they just walk off into the background and you never hear from them again. This later becomes bothersome when you are left with one person. It slows down the game tremendously, as there's no funny chats between characters, so it almost becomes a bore to finish the game (remember what i said at the beginning). The witty puns are still there, but they don't match up really. Another thing is, after a few games you've basically heard all the dialogue in the game, and then it becomes repetitive and a rarity to get new dialogue.

One of the biggest problems, and for some people a deal breaker, is the multi-player... There is none. No LAN games and no online. I can't see a proper reason why they didn't add one. I can think of a way to add one; like single play, where no one plays the characters but you pick avatars to play, which don't talk but you have text boxes to chat to the other players while the madness goes on in the background. There. Simple. I came up with a concept in two minutes. Because there's no multi-player, the game has little legs and extras don't cut it these days. Now I know I've always gone with "A game must always stand on it's single player" but still, with a game made for lots of people having no multiplayer seems very odd.

All in all, the game doesn't have much substance, however, what's there is very good, a lot of Polish to hold up for what you pay WHICH IS £4! The game just rubs me in the right way, and as every woman knows rubbing me in the right way gives great rewards. My final thought is if you're the type of person who loves playing games with good writing, who likes betting games or can get hooked on games like club penguin, then I recommend them to pick up this game. It's funny, addictive and well crafted. Everything wanted from a game like this.

Liam Hackett
Maria Matthews (Editor)

I think it's time forrrr... an actual blog post!!

Right, as my Tales of Monkey Island Review went down the drain, (more like cyber-drain but still) I thought I would do an actual blog post! I mean it's not like there's anything good that could of come out recently, (put my Anti-Activision visors on) and I'm not planning to do a new game review until Super Meat Boy finally comes out on PC. So... as I was saying, I'm incredibly bored, (or trying to get out of revision) and I'm just going to talk about some news, thoughts on a few recent events, what I'm up to and stuff like that. Isn't this exciting?! ...Don't answer that.

Okay, as some of you may know I may have gotten a little addiction to a game called "Killing Floor" an indie game that came out in May 2009, and I've heard about it here and there, but I never picked it up because well... for some time I wasn't very interested in it; one game mode and it reminded me of Left 4 Dead and another game that is a type of fish. So I passed on it for quite some time, until one day, low and behold, it was on one of the many fantastic sales on Steam, and so I picked up the game and all the DLC for the minor price of £5.99. As you may expect, I quickly pounced on the sale, devouring its body and obtaining the juicy red meat of the game and let me tell you it was well worth the wait and stalking of the pray for the best attack! As I will not do a review on the game, I'll just tell you some information about it here.

As I said before, I didn't buy the game before the deal because of it looking like Left 4 Dead and a fish game beginning with C. Well let me tell you that it isn't at all! It's kind of a misconception that the game carries around like a 10 ton weight, when in fact it's almost a completely different game. An example of this would be in Left 4 Dead the normal zombies run and do very little damage and only pose a small threat, with Killing Floor the "normal" Zombies walk and are now a much bigger threat, you may not think that when playing, but when they catch up to you they will grab you and make you a quick and easy snack for the "special infected". Also there are alot more "special infected" in Killing Floor, in fact there are so many it almost seems like every sort of infected zombie... things, are normal (as hinted by the quotation marks). Now I'll cut this short but to be plain, Killing Floor has more guns, maps, mods (I'll get to that in a minute) and enemies. However, is it a better game? No. Left 4 Dead just has more balance and is more... polished (for lack of a better word) than Killing Floor, however I do recommend a buy even at it's full price at £15/£19.99.

From Killing Floor to the Engine it's using, the Unreal 3 engine. I may not be the biggest fan of UR3, in fact I dislike it, I'm more of a Source engine fan (more news on that coming up... God, it's like a chat show here). Even though it may have its problems and big problems, I've always preferred it from UR3 (UDK) the reason; a clean and simple interface. I don't care about all this crap clotting up my screen, I like the shortcut keys and smaller viewing windows. Gives me more room to think and be able to find and apply what I want. Now I'm not saying that UDK is bad, far from it, I'm just saying it's not what I want and I know some people are different. For example, I prefer Softimage XSI for modelling than any other type of modelling tool. Why? Because it has writing on the buttons, not pictures I can hardly see without buying a massive HD screen for my PC (however that would be nice). But that's not what I'm here to talk about. I'm here to talk about the mod support for Killing Floor. (Why did I just spend a whole paragraph on how I dislike UDK... I don't know.)

As you may know, Killing Floor started out as a mod and became an indie title, so you would of thought that the mod support would be good wouldn't you? Well it is! It's much better than Left 4 Dead's, for example, Killing Floor actually has some of the best maps on the disc/cloud (if you've got Steam) when you buy the game, so there's no waiting around on Moddb or L4Dmaps.net, you just pick up and you can play the custom made mods straight off from the geco. However, the best mod support for a game so far is Garry's Mod with it's Toybox feacher. So that got me thinking, why doesn't Left 4 Dead have a service like this? I mean, half their Developer team are modders so why haven't they got something like Killing Floor? Actually come to think about it, lately the Left 4 Dead Devs have made alot of stupid and bad choices over the last few months. So that's one of my questions I leave with you. Why haven't there been better mod support for L4D?

Okay, from L4D and Neatly, to my second to last talk...thing. As I was saying earlier, I prefer the Source SDK and because of that I am now working on two maps for it, one being a contest entry for Roofville on PlanetPhillip.com, and another being a Left 4 Dead 2 mod (a sort of mutation of a game mode in some ways). So as you may guess, I've being pulling my hair out with some of the gigantic issues with the two SDKs (Left 4 Dead 2 and Half Life 2 episode 2). Let me go through some of the problems I've been having (you may need to be a Dev to understand some of what I say). Okay, the big problems I've had issues with is geometry disappearing in Hammer and it's not because of too many entities, in fact, at the point I am with the maps, I haven't even started putting entities in my maps. However, this is a big issue, especially as one of the maps, (not saying which one) is huge and is just annoying when going through the 3D view, and finding missing walls and floors. It's very irritating and I think they really should get this fixed AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE! Another problem I had was my Vis Groups joining together to make this one super Vis. Now I've absolutely bored you with my constant blabbering about game engines and nattering about VisGroups and disappearing geometry, I just want to go over one more thing... Just after I've trimmed my new bucked teeth, removed these big glasses that have appeared on my head and have washed my now greasy hair.

Final thing, and if you want to hear more stuff about games... Well you're not, so leave. But for those who want to know about why I've not been as active as I normally am well listen up (wait I could have made a sex joke there. Oh SH*T my opportunity ruined). Well as a matter of fact, I am currently in my final year of GCSE's at secondary school, so as you may know for anyone who's been through them, it's extremely stressful and takes up alot of my time in the day, so as you can guess, I'm going to be very silent for the next few weeks/months. So I would like you to stick with me now, as I'm working on school work which comes first, understandably, Game Development comes a very close second (if I could do it all day I would), and writing which I'm afraid comes last, for the reason that I have the opportunity of getting some extra cash with level design, not like I can't with this however I don't think anyone wants to buy mis-spelt reviews from a dyslexic. However, I'm working on that, and have got myself a personal human spell checker (which unfortunately comes with the action of hitting me per mistake, but it's a step up). I don't think I can put her name up, however if she misses one of my mistakes, (which is very unlikely) you can call her the evil editor and tell her where the mistakes are, but only on my posts as she doesn't cover witty's reviews (hey that's a... what do you call it... a pun that's it!). Okay, I think I've covered everything. I do have one more big thing to announce, however I can save that for another time.

Liam Hackett
Maria Matthews (Evil Editor)

Wittyreviews: Soulstorm

An action packed thrill ride in the making folks!

Now, allow me to say this before we continue: I don't like Soulstorm...at all. I understand that some people do and the first obvious thing people will attack me with is "But Witty! It's exactly like the other games, what's the problem?". And that's a fair question, I liked the last 3 so what's wrong with another right? Well, it's not so much the ENTIRE game I have a problem with, it's little aspects that really get my goat.


First off, a little history. Soulstorm is the last game in the original Dawn of War series and, consequently, the last one I played. Supprisingly, it's also the one I took longest to finish taking an entire month the first time I played it through, why? That can be boiled down to one single race: DARK ELDAR.

The fabulous Eldar

 
Seriously, Dark Eldar are cheating bastards! But allow me to explain. Again, we have a new plot, this time focusing on an entire system rather than one planet; the Kauruva System. This time, the stakes have been upped slightly. A warp storm has hit the system and thusly all space travel is impossible (except for the Tau of course if you look at Games Workshop logic, but moving on). To this effect, all of our favourite races must travel with ancient Eldar warp gates...no, I'm not kidding, the racist zealots are actualy using alien tech to get to where they're going. All of the races from Dark Crusade are back, along with 2 new additions. The Sisters of Battle and the Dark Eldar. Now, let's get down to brass tax here, the Sisters are useless and the Dark Eldar cheat! Now, ok, that's probably unfair so let me elaborate a little bit. When you get down to it, the Sisters are some sort of ballance between the IG and the Space Marines. For instance, the Sisters use bolters but lack access to alot of other Space Marine weaponry. One of the things they use alot of however is fire, lots of fire. Seriously, almost all of their special weapons are fire based from Flamers to Multi-Meltas. They also have very strange tanks, they have the usual fare of Rhino's and the like but they also have combat walkers right out of the Matrix and a tank which is specifficaly designed to shoot fire in wide circles while playing organ music. For some reason, the Sisters are even more zealous than the Space Marines in some ways, how does that make sense? They're combat nuns and the Marines are the freaking Angels of the Death! Hell, even the Sisters buildings are church shaped for the most part! Their ultimate unit is a fucking Angel!

She kicks ass for the lord!

Oh but it gets better, let us speak of the cheaters that are the Dark Eldar. Now, they're pretty much just corrupted Eldar who are in to S&M so most of their units are pretty weak. But, they have one large advantage: Their builders don't need to stick around to build the structures. You see, the builders plant a 'seed' and then the building builds itself, they can go off and do other stuff. And for some reason, the AI insists on building on over half the map! You will end up with a near constant wave of attacks if you're not carefull, unlike the other races which take a breather. And this is where the game REALLY messes you around.


Gameplay is almost entirely unchanged from the previous titles with two exceptions. The first is that you now have air units, a single one for each race, does this make a difference? Not really, they all suck unless you use them with an escort of en masse. And the seccond difference is the victory conditions, remember in Dark Crusade when the only condition was destruction of the enemy's HQ? Well, now you have to destroy every one of the enemy's buildings. Yep. Every. Single. One. You have no idea how tedious that is, especialy when faceing the Dark Eldar! I know the idea was to give a feel of total domination of the enemy or maybe make the battles harder, but imagein if you will this scenario. You've been fighting for a good 20 miniutes, you finnaly have the enemy beaten BUT a single builder made it out alive, maybe he was off building a listening outpost or something. He builds a new HQ and the cycle starts over again. Now, yes, some buildings are exempt. You don't have to destroy the plasma generators or the listening outpost things but the rest of them have to be. The only time this condition does not apply is during the main base sieges which, thankfully, are back. What saddens me the most about the game though is the total destruction some of the races felt. For a start, the Space Marines are being lead by the most retarded, idiotic commanders they could muster, Indrick Boreal. This guy is so stupid he took half the chapter with him and STILL lost, TO THE IMPERIAL GUARD. I'm not kidding, canonically the Imperial Guard win this game. All because Boreal was too busy yammering about how awesome his Spess Mehreens are and how they are the Empra's Fureh.

The only time they're ever awesome

Oh, and Gorgutz returns again, awesome right? Well, yes, except they changed his voice actor to a deeper, gruffier version who has no funny one liners.


Oh but wait! I'm leaveing out an entire section from the games, the multiplayer! It's exactly the same as every other RTS multiplayer known to man. You build things, you train dudes, you kill the enemies dudes and repeat. The popular tactic to the zerg rush the hell out of the enemy leading to some very funny lines of anger from them, but it never happened to me....honest.

To say Soulstorm is bad is not really a correct statement, a better one would be...different. Which is technically the exact problem, it's different but not in a good way. Fundumentally it's no different to the last game or even the first game, but with poorer voice acting, a rediculously unfair at times victory condition and cheating AI it feels more like a chore than a pleasure to play through. Oh and why do the Imperial Guard win? They're cannon fodder! After Soulstorm, Dawn of War would take a little break. Next time, we'll take a look at Relics latest attempt at the franchise, Dawn of War 2, yes, a direct sequel. Wherein the game gets a complete overhaul and it pretty much just says "Screw Soulstorm, it didn't happen!"

Final Score: 3/5

By: Wittyreviewer

Wittyreviews: Dark Crusade

"Hi players!"

Gone with the narrative, gone with the character development and in with the gameplay style that will continue for the rest of the series. Not to say that the game doesn't have a plot at all, it does, it just doesn't drive the story. Indeed, the characters have very little dialogue. The only lines they have are the ones they say when you click on them to move. It should be noted that Dark Crusade is the DoW game that convinced me to buy the box set. This was back in the days when the only time I'd seen Warhammer 40k was on shelves in my local Games Workshop so when I trotted into HMV one day and saw the Dawn of War boxset next to the new releases, I was intrigued. The first 2 did nothing to fire me up really but that image of a Necron on the Dark Crusade box sealed it.


So todays installment of Dawn of War follows a slightly different style. Instead of playing as 1 maybe 2 races now you have 6. That's right, 6. Be very afraid. You pick 1 and stick with them for the rest of the game. So now it's turning into Total War except it goes into real time. But before I get into all of that, let's cover the story...what there is of one. In this installment the opening and various other texts are read by the Epic Voice, you know, that guy with the deep voice who reads everything overdramatically? Yeah, him. Our tale takes place on the planet Kronus. It's no stranger to war, as the various images tell us, and now 6 factions are trying to take it over. The Imperial Guard and Space Marines make a comeback, though strangely fighting against eachother, along with the Eldar, Orks and Chaos Marines. Added to the mix are the newly playable Necrons and Tau. Yes, I'm going to assume you finished Winter Assault and remember the Necrons don't you? You can play as them now! Go forth and kick some ass as a slow moving, robotic dude. Now, personaly, the Tau are my favourite race. They don't fight for their deitys, like the Imperium of Man or Chaos, they don't fight purely for violence like the Orks nor simply to shut stupid people up ala Eldar. They just do it to make people happy and protect them. Plus, they have laser weapons, floating tanks and stealth suits. All the things that make me happy really. But anyway, back to the plot. Each faction is there for their own reasons. The only real story of interest is the ongoing arguements between the IG and the Space Marines. The IG got their first, you see, and rebuilt the old Imperial city of Victory Bay, even uncovering an old Titan weapon. The Blood Ravens, of course, land to help but request that the IG retreat. The Guards general refuses and so the Blood Ravens decide to wipe them out along with everything else on the planet. Yet again the Blood Ravens have the cannonical story in this game, as their ending is the one that is mentioned in Dawn of War 2. From what we can gather, the planet Kronus was a battlefield during the Horus Heracy and several Blood Raven relics still reside on it. That said, the fact that the Space Marines are so eager to get to them does suggest they may be a little incriminating.

I'll let this speak for itself

 
The gameplay hasn't changed in the slightest for the past races, though a few additions have been made. The Space Marines now have new infantry known as the Grey Knights. They're spear wielding, psy power wielding paladins who run around swinging their blades in wide arcs. Personaly, the only paladin I trust to get the job done is Alexander Anderson. The IG now have access to entrenched, 50 cal machine guns, gauss cannons and just general tank cannons. The Eldar can now train Harlequins, dancing death clowns who jump around stabbing people with small blades. No really, they're clowns. The Orks have upgraded shoota boyz for you to use, who wield heavy machine guns that sound like rapid fireing staple guns.

Someone make this game!

Chaos has...more evil looking stuff. The real gameplay changes come in the form of the new races. Running and gunning with the Tau will only serve to get you killed faster, instead I suggest using them in moderation. Fire squads make perfect take and hold units to entrence positions with, especialy if they have a sheild drone for emergencies. The Kroot are usefull for hit and run amushes, especialy when fighting the Orks who's close range specialty can take the Tau off guard. Tanks are really only good on buildings and just about all of other Tau warfare is based on infantry, keep this in mind when deploying them into front line combat. The Necrons are robots, that pretty much sums them up right there. They walk, they kill, they blow up. Every part of their use is that in a nutshell. The only noteable thing about them really is that they don't use resources like the other races, instead they use power. Takeing points only really serves to put up sentry turrets and denying the resources to your enemy. The objectives differ this time around aswell, now all you have to do is destroy your opponents HQ building. There's nothing more satisfying than being able to walk through your enemies buildings and then just kill their HQ and still win, great fun.


Finnaly, it was around this time that the moding community got it into their heads that messing around with the game was a good idea, to this date however I have not been able to play any but here's a joke for your viewing pleasure.

Final Score: 5/5


Not a perfect game, but pretty enjoyable. If you liked DoW and Winter Assault, you'll like Dark Crusade. Next time, I tackle the black sheep of the franchise: Soul Storm.


By: Wittyreviewer